Often we hear advice that you need to sort out your personal issues in order to attract your twin soul to you, but are you aware what that means? It’s really quite simple though: it means you need to learn who you are and learn to express it. However, we do get all tangled with one thing: We are trying to decide on the destination before we figure out what roads we have in front of us. We are not all meant to become the same person – because we’re not the same person, obviously. Spirituality often misleads us into thinking that we need to be certain way to be worthy of a twin soul; meditate twice a day, become a vegetarian, read Buddhist texts and use “Namaste” instead of “heya”. In all honesty, if this was what your twin soul was aiming for, do you think you would be more willing to go into a relationship with them? You wouldn’t want him or her to change that much, would you? Guess what, they don’t want you to, either. They want you to be more you. All of you. Every inch of you.
At both ends, each separated twin soul is trying hard to become better, something that they ought to be; A better man, a better woman. Some ideal that they have in their heads. The woman often does this through spirituality, while the man just… Follows the societal norms most likely. Both roads may lead you where you need to be – or they may not.
Being yourself is not as easy as it sounds. We block out a lot of things that we are, because already in our childhood we were told that “that is not nice, Beatrice. Don’t do that.” And we learn that Beatrice is not a very nice person as she is. It’s not to say we shouldn’t have been raised the way we were, we were all given the exact upbringing we needed, with all the knots and clusters and blows we received. That’s not the point. The point is that now as an adult you have to reraise yourself, and dig out the true you. Now you know where YOU draw your lines – maybe you would like to draw lines on walls of your own, even though your mother was hell bent telling you not to draw on hers – and you know she had the right to give you that boundary. We are grown up, and we need to become us as soon as we can. I suspect that many reunited twin souls are in their 50′s and 60′s because that is when we finally release ourselves from our parents expectations. They are now frail and weak if they are there at all, and you are finally free to be you… But maybe we shouldn’t wait quite that long.
Meeting your twin soul is said to be like a mirror in your face. However, a lot of us forget to look into the mirror and instead focusing on the other twin fully. The twin soul becomes your distraction that keeps you from meeting yourself and from reuniting with your twin. I would actually say the he or she holds up the mirror for you, but they aren’t the mirror, that is how you can miss the target over and over. This also means that they are not your mirror image (necessarily) but perfect compliment to what you are. Perfect match. They will be similar in some ways and perfect opposites in others, so that you two together form something so perfect you couldn’t have imagined it… And you won’t unless you know yourself, and ideally, your twin soul, too.
What you must find out exactly who you are and what makes you tick. If you are not naturally inclined to do that, a psychologist or a life coach is a great place to start. However for the DIY people out there, here’s what I suggest you do: Start following the breadcrumbs in your life to find your path. What this means is to start observing your every whim, asking yourself questions to find out where you’re coming from. If you are angry, find out why you’re angry, and don’t just cop out saying that “he made me angry” answer how he did that. What was the emotion that he triggered in you… Did he insult you? (Read : how not to get insulted.) Dig out your childhood memories and try to remember each detail. Start with the photos, and try to expand the memories in each one. Can you see toys you don’t remember having? Get self-obsessed! Find out everything there is to know about you. When ever you find that you enjoy something, pay special attention: why? Even if the enjoyment came from a source you can’t accept. Just look into it. If you enjoy seeing violence for example, ask yourself – which one do you identify with, the victim or the assaulter? (Why?) Become fearless in self-observation, your head is yours and what it contains is the special blend of quirks that make you you.
Aim to be in a position, that when a person hurls an inconvenient truth about you in your face, you smile and go: “Hell yeah, that’s so me!” Love everything that you are… They say you have to learn to love yourself before you can love another, but to love yourself you need to know who you are. THIS is your highest priority in life. This is the highest priority in anyone’s life. This is the reason we are here, to know what we are. To experience who we are, and love every minute of it.